A Glimmer of Hope?

So we went to look at townhouses today. Shock of all shock - we found one we really like IN OUR PRICE RANGE! It's downtown, walking distance from places we like to go. It has a lovely, sloping yard in the back. I'm not going to say much more until we put in an offer. It is, however, within the USDA's district! Woo hoo!

I have been tracking my food without limiting too much what I choose to eat. Because of that, it appears that I'm limiting my food intake. I feel good that I haven't been gorging too much. Now the problem is getting more exercise. We'll see how it goes...

Michelle and I will be having a "girl's day" tomorrow, and I'm taking them out for dinner tomorrow night in honor of her recent birthday. We're getting our nails done, which I'm really excited about. *B*'s mom dropped a pamphlet from a local place that is REALLY cheap. She said it was really nice. We've been missing each other's texts, so there aren't any definite plans, but all will fall into place eventually.

I feel so loved! I never knew I had comments on some of my posts! THANK YOU!!!! I feel so encouraged by everyone. The comments also got me to read some of my posts, which motivate me to pick up things I've been slacking on. Momzoo also reignited my quest to find the article on five year journaling - I FOUND IT!!! It was from simpleliving.net, and it's called Creating a Five Year Vision. WOO HOO!!!

Things I'm Going to Do Tonight and Tomorrow (in no particular order):

• Have one heck of a prayer session with the big guy
• Working on the five year stuff
  
• Put laundry away
• Vacuum bedroom and living room
  
• Send info to the new mortgage guy
• Get nails done
• Go out for dinner
  

Things I'm Thankful For (in no particular order):

• Being off of work
• Having a place to crash
• Having a generous family
• Having a great boyfriend
• Having a reliable car
• Life working out in one way or another
• Finding faith that we'll have our own place one day (hopefully soon!)

So It Goes

I've been up and down all day today. This morning *B* and I went to a financial planner, my insurance agent. He pretty much told me we're a little bit screwed when it comes to finding a house. We're going to keep our eyes open, but I don't have to kill myself looking. Again, my dad offered for us to move into his house when he moves down south. I haven't said yes, but I haven't said no either. It really upsets me to think that we could be with his parents for our birthdays, anniversary, Thanksgiving, and worst of all, Christmas.

Last night, I dreamed that I started school already. I had plans ready, but none of the materials for the lessons. We had to go to some kind of gathering (fire drill or assembly), and I wet myself and hoped no one else noticed. I wonder what that means.

One of my favorite shows right now is "You Are What You Eat" on BBC America. I just watched tonight and realized that the majority of the food I ate today was really bad for me and that I need to take better care of myself. So right now I'm chilling out, watching "18 Kids and Counting," planning for living a much less stressful life. All told though, I only ate 2160 calories today, and had 15.9 grams of fiber. For feeling like a pig, I did pretty well!

Catharsis Restrained

I cried today in front of *B*. I think it's only the second time I've done that in as many years, the first when I found out my parents were getting a divorce. I didn't let all out, but it was nice to expend some of the pent up sadness and frustration. I miss our life. I miss our grown-up-ness and coming home to the cat, days of candlelight, movies on the couch. It feels like we'll never get that back. There's been a lot of stress in this house lately. Personality clashes, grumpiness, the strain of new people interrupting a routine. It literally makes me cringe.

I started reading White Oleander by Janet Fitch to get away from everyone. I found myself surprised to get sucked into it. I feel like Astrid, afloat with nothing to anchor me down. I'd come to an interesting place where I didn't want to keep reading, because I knew it will only get worse for her. But I persevered, and I finished the book last night.

Oh So Frustrating

We saw a house today. It was built in 1898, and it's got some gorgeous features (granite counter tops, nice range, etc). But in general, there are a lot of problems. It's killing me to know that we're going to be with *B*'s parents for a lot longer. I'm just so not an extrovert, and I feel I'm always "on." I really wish we could just get a place.

*B* and I decided to eat more healthful foods. Tonight, for dinner, I made baked salmon with lemon juice, squash, and green beans. It was SOOOO good if I do say so myself. To get the salmon, we went to a fresh fish market. It was much smaller than I expected. But we got a fillet of organic salmon. I didn't realize it wasn't deboned! I had to use tongs to pull out every little bone in that 2 lb fillet. It was a lot of work, but totally worth it. This morning, I finished making applesauce, and I made a fruit salad with all the random fruits we had in the fridge.

Oh Wow!

I just watched Alton Brown frost a cake on a record player. How brilliant is that?! I absolutely love that idea. Never mind the fact that it could destroy the record player.

Before that, though, I watched 16 and Pregnant. I have a hard time with that show. Though it is more true than other portrayals of teenage pregnancy, I still think that it somewhat glamorizes that lifestyle. I am thankful, however, that none of the girls shown chose abortion. While I wouldn't go so far to prevent someone from that option, I don't believe in it myself.

It may seem as if I have no life what with all the TV I'm watching. But I've actually gotten a fair amount of planning done for next school year. I've come up with some nifty plans, and organized my lessons far more than I ever have before. I'm actually excited about going back to school to some extent.

We went to see two more houses today. One of them is the most precious house I've ever seen:
If it weren't a one bedroom house with the tiniest kitchen I've ever seen, I would TOTALLY buy it. I'm in love with the area in which it's located. I would gladly drive 45 minutes to work to live in that town. Besides that, we really need to get a new loan officer. We don't even know what our price range is anymore. I'm still pretty leery about getting a house until *B* has a steady job, but what can you do.

I've not been very good about keeping up my prayers. Since losing the house, and coming from school during David Jeremiah's broadcast, it's fallen by the wayside.

Why Can't I Write Anymore?

I used to be really excited to hop onto my laptop and churn out a post. For the last week, I haven't been able to write much of anything.

We submitted our withdrawal of contract today. Once we get our good faith deposit back, we'll never have to think of that house again.

I have bug bites all up my legs and arms from sitting outside on Saturday. I'm going crazy! I just can't stop itching.

I've been reading Loving Frank by Nancy Horan. So far, it's really good. I'm 2/3 of the way through, and I've only had it two days. I'll probably finish it tonight. Tomorrow, I'll give a thorough report.

I'm really hoping to get a jump on my emergency bag tomorrow. The hardest thing I've had a problem getting together - a change of clothes. Should I pack for warm or cold weather? *B* is packing zip-off pants, but I am not so lucky. Tank tops and long sleeve t-shirts perhaps??

More Ramblings of a Lost Woman

I really don't know what to do. Tomorrow, I will be calling a new real estate agent and sending in the paper that says we give up on the contract. I think we'll be looking at townhomes. I've been looking in Montgomery County, and that's weird for me. I don't know the area at all.