In the Catholic faith, ours will be a mixed marriage. Since *B* is not baptized in any Christian church, this also means that our marriage will not be a sacrament for me. When we first met, I had pretty much given up on any kind of church, Christian or not. I didn't care, then, what he believed in. Yes, I knew he was really into communing with nature as a form of spiritual satisfaction.
When we first talked about getting married, it was a pretty secular proposition. As plans firmed up, I realized that I wanted to get married in a Catholic church. I had done everything else thus far, I might as well. So we found a priest, and we talked about the three questions we will have to agree to in order to be married in the church: we have to be faithful to each other, believe that marriage is for life, and raise our children in the church. He also told us that we needed to go through some kind of marriage class (standard procedure). We had heard bad things about the group sessions, so we chose the sponsor couple route.
At the same time, I had been developing in what I tentatively call my faith. I'm still a tad nervous and hesitant. But I wanted *B* to be exposed to the church, so we started going to Mass shortly after our first sponsor couple meeting. We've now been going just about two months.
I know that I feel better since we started going. I at least partially attribute my departure from therapy to feeling more fulfilled after attending church.
In the beginning, it made us stronger. We would go, and make the drive home, feeling happy and restored. Believe it or not, it soon started causing a bit of a rift between me and *B*. I started to try to teach *B* some of the things that would happen in Mass. The sign of the cross, what to say. He felt...attacked for lack of a better word. At least he was there, he thought. True, so I tried to back off. I just wanted to help. Then he'd ask questions, trying to better understand. And I'd excitedly answer them. I ate them up. I came to find myself desperately wanting him to become Catholic. I've never really cared before. The worst part is, I don't exactly know why I want this so.
Part of it is tradition. My family is all Catholic, and I don't really see another religion being possible or desirable. Part of it is that I want the classic idea of the Catholic family: