Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Hard Row to Hoe

I've been trying to be less than sour about my life lately, and I'm finding it really difficult. I spend my days intensely wanting to be anywhere else than where I am. It's really hard to get going in the morning - I woke up at 5 am and laid on the floor for half an hour this morning. I dread going to work, and the idea of coming home is no relief. I get home round about 4 pm, and I have to go to bed around 7-8 pm or lose critical sleep time. I get up at 5 am again to start the cycle over. It's not like I can even pull out what I'm specifically unhappy about. If I could, I'd have a much easier time figuring myself out. It's not like I'm going through any real crisis, so why am I so depressed and stressed? My drug of choice to self-medicate has been caffeine. And I know that complaining perpetuates a downward spiral, so why am I writing this?

Things to be thankful for:
  • *B* - in so many ways
  • My family (both mine and *B*'s)
  • My friends
  • Having a roof over my head
  • Having a reliable car
  • Having a good job (even if I don't always like it)
  • Thanksgiving break starting tomorrow afternoon
  • Being in relatively good health
  • Having good health insurance

3 comments:

  1. I know I do. That's why it kills me that I'm so depressed so often. I know that I should be thankful and grateful, but my brain won't recognize the positives.

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  2. It's hard to be content with what you have. At least, it is for me. I've been doing the same thing the past few weeks, thinking I want something better or different. Sometimes I think we just need a change. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving vacation for that reason. Sometimes just getting away (or changing routine, or anything) for a few days can really help me feel better.

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