Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Hard Row to Hoe

I've been trying to be less than sour about my life lately, and I'm finding it really difficult. I spend my days intensely wanting to be anywhere else than where I am. It's really hard to get going in the morning - I woke up at 5 am and laid on the floor for half an hour this morning. I dread going to work, and the idea of coming home is no relief. I get home round about 4 pm, and I have to go to bed around 7-8 pm or lose critical sleep time. I get up at 5 am again to start the cycle over. It's not like I can even pull out what I'm specifically unhappy about. If I could, I'd have a much easier time figuring myself out. It's not like I'm going through any real crisis, so why am I so depressed and stressed? My drug of choice to self-medicate has been caffeine. And I know that complaining perpetuates a downward spiral, so why am I writing this?

Things to be thankful for:
  • *B* - in so many ways
  • My family (both mine and *B*'s)
  • My friends
  • Having a roof over my head
  • Having a reliable car
  • Having a good job (even if I don't always like it)
  • Thanksgiving break starting tomorrow afternoon
  • Being in relatively good health
  • Having good health insurance


  1. I know I do. That's why it kills me that I'm so depressed so often. I know that I should be thankful and grateful, but my brain won't recognize the positives.

  2. It's hard to be content with what you have. At least, it is for me. I've been doing the same thing the past few weeks, thinking I want something better or different. Sometimes I think we just need a change. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving vacation for that reason. Sometimes just getting away (or changing routine, or anything) for a few days can really help me feel better.