Awww!

I have the cutest cat! Because she's fairly sheltered, she doesn't see a whole lot of bugs. As we've been moving, some flies have gotten in. When she finally saw a fly, she started making mewing/choking sounds. At first I freaked out, thinking she was hurt, but once I saw her jet across the room I understood.


Tonight is the last night in our apartment. There's still sooo much to do. Most of the things left to pack are just normal junk that doesn't fit in anywhere else. But I have the pantry and the bedroom closet totally cleaned out. I'm waking up early to try to pack what I can of the rest of it. At this point, I can't actually imagine us getting into the house. There's so much going on and so much to do before that comes.

It's coming up on the last week of school for me. I go to Florida in a little over a week. I've got one project that is super easy that I'm procrastinating on and one project that scares the crap out of me that I haven't started yet. The first one's due tomorrow, and I'm not worried at all. The second one is due Wednesday, and it's a nightmare.

A mental vacation - in two months, I'll be sitting on my deck, drinking iced tea in my patio furniture. It's dusk, and the fireflies are out. Birds chirp and flit from tree to tree. The air is just beginning to cool from the long, warm day. Candles make it possible to see just as it's getting a little too dark. The radio plays softly in the background, and all is right with the world.

Ugh...Just ugh...

I feel so awful. I've had massive headaches all over for the past two days. My heart has been going haywire. I know some of it's stress, but I'm worried that some of it is my anxiety meds. I have to call the doctor first thing in the morning.

As expected, I blew off all ideas of eating healthy today. I really just need to survive this move. We took a bunch of stuff over today. I can't believe how much is still here. I don't know how we're going to fit everything in.

I'm now kind of freaking out about how I'm going to pay for school. I was supposed to fix my tax return when we got the house, and try to get financial aid. Because we aren't getting the house yet, that really changes all my plans. All I can do is hope everything will work out okay.

House Issues and Bread Disaster

I've resigned myself to the fact that we're moving in with the 'rents for a month. No one on Earth can give us a mortgage until 60 days before my raise (July 16th). Most of our stuff is over there already. Even though we took two car loads over yesterday, we didn't pack a single thing today. We just laid around the entire day.

I did, however, endeavor to use food we don't eat a lot so that we didn't have to take it with us. I made chicken with a grape marsala sauce that was actually really good. But earlier in the day, I decided to make bread with the last little bit of flour I had. I had just enough with a tad left over. So I made the dough according to a recipe I found on Safely Gathered In. I let it rise, no problems. Then, I went to add the rest of the ingredients. For whatever reason, instead of adding half a cup, I added two cups. In an attempt to salvage the batch, I dumped in every speck of flour I had left. We made bread with it anyway, and it turned out like a weird ciabatta/english muffin bread. While I don't like it, someone in the house will eat it.

I really wish everything would just work out well. I'm super stressed about the move. It doesn't even feel like my anxiety meds are working anymore. I feel so sick and my heart is going crazy. I'm going to call the doctor Monday morning. I know I need to start watching what I'm eating and such. Though it's trite - I'm starting tomorrow. I am hopeful that it will calm my symptoms.

New House Project

We still don't quite have a mortgage yet. I need to find a way to get my salary increase to start a month early. We'll see how that goes when I meet with the principal tomorrow.

Since I've been surfing the blogs out there, I keep reading blogs of LDS mothers. I've decided that once we get into the house, I'm going to make 72 hour kits and 3-month storage. I'm not going to do long term storage mostly because I'm a bit afraid of it. But the two projects upon which I'm embarking should be good enough to start. I've always been interested in preparedness, ever since I was a kid. And considering I've been looking into more homemade goods and food storage anyway, this should be fun!

An Experiment with Good Results

Last night, I sucked up my pride and doubt and prayed for help with our mortgage problems. It felt really good, very calming. Be it intervention or coincidence, we actually got a mortgage today (I think) from someone new. We will go tomorrow to sign papers and actually figure out what's going on. I'm really hoping we can still move in on or before June 16th. We have only one more week here. We are not NEARLY packed yet. Tomorrow I plan to:

• Finish reading and homework
• Pack the bedroom and leftover DVDs
• Pack the kitchen
• Meet with the mortgage guy
• Pick up Serena from Barnes and Noble
• TRY to enjoy class

I love my cat. She's being uncharacteristically nice tonight. She's a purr-er, loving all over me. I don't know what got into her, but I like it!

Figuring Myself Out

I've spent the last few nights reading random blogs. I have no idea who these people are, but I feel connected to them in some strange way. Reading a woman's blog from Australia, I got a new perspective on what June means to me. I've been drawn to young mother's stories. Generally, they're housewives who like to cook and live simply. Surprisingly, most of them are fairly religious.

Every night, after my college classes, I listen to religious radio. I'm not particularly spiritual or religious. I'm still vague on my beliefs in God, and even moreso on my beliefs in Jesus. But I find the basic messages comforting and appealing. Rather than feel guilty about not knowing where I stand, I'm going to take baby steps and discover in my own time what I believe.

School is over for the summer. I've still got parents driving me nuts, but at least I have a break. I've gotten tons of ideas from my college classes that I will use for my classes next year.

We found out today we were turned down for a loan. We're hoping they reconsider as I got a HUGE raise that should make us more appealing loan-wise. I am really unhappy with the service from our mortgage broker though. I will never recommend him again.

This summer I plan to read a lot more. My first for-fun read is going to be Serena by Ron Rash. I have two books to read for school as well. I am more than open for suggestions.

Lots to Do and No Willpower

We move anywhere from less than a week to 10 days from today. Bubs has helped a lot, but I need to pick up the pace. I can't bring myself to pack any more! Tomorrow, I plan on:

1. Cleaning the kitchen.
2. Putting the pots and pans in boxes.
3. Making zucchini and carrot bread.
4. Finishing the laundry.
5. Packing the bathroom.
6. Packing the miscellanea that sits next to and on top of the desk.

We also talked about not getting cable in our new house. I think it's beneficial to get rid of the television as much as possible. We still have and love our DVDs, so we won't miss the random shows too much. I'm hoping that without the TV, I can get back into reading more. I've got lots of plans for our new place, and I'm excited to be going! I'm sure I will miss our little apartment, though. There were lots of good memories here.