Saturday, August 29, 2009

All That I Ponder: Longest Blog Post Ever

Today was the first day of renn fest! I forgot my camera, but I will post pictures before the end of the year. My 7 month old nephew-ish (*B*'s nephew) will be here with *B*'s sister and brother-in-law in a few weeks. I had picked up a "kilt" from the thrift store for a dollar that was really a girl's plaid skirt. But when we went today, I just HAD to go into the kilt shop. And there, I found the most precious little kilt that will last him a few years. So what did I do? I bought it. I'm such a sucker for little kids! As *B* said though, it will be a hand-me-down to our kids in the future, as we plan on going to the renn fest as long as it's around.

As is tradition at renn fest, *B* imbibed some mead (among other things) and enjoyed the experience of a pretty substantial buzz. After his friend left for the night, he started in on me with the philosophical arguments. He was asking the questions: is it better to do for the good of the individual or the good of all? Are fairness and justice intrinsic? Is it responsible to have a large number of kids given that there are a finite number of resources?

One of the things he brought up was my preparedness kick. Is it fair that I stock up on things when other people need things too? (I think it is - I could always give away my stockpile if need be, and I often buy extra food to give to the local food bank.) If I could afford anything, would I buy out entire stocks of things? (Maybe ammo, but only because there's so little of it available at a time. If there was a ton of it in stock, I wouldn't buy the whole thing.)

The only instance I can think of that I bought the lot was yesterday. We had eaten something new that we found in the cabinet - Kashi Fiery Fiesta rice.
It's very yummy pre-cooked rice. I'm definitely adding it to my pack list. At Food Lion, it was on closeout, which saddened me, but that meant I could afford the whole rack of it - four packets. Is it wrong to take a whole bunch if you really liked it and can afford it? Or should I have left some for other people who may or may not have bought it before it was trashed?

I'm still thinking very hard about Family Home Evenings and how to institute it in my life. I do feel that it would be beneficial. I still don't know how I feel about religion. I like some of the LDS principles, but I don't think I could get over the origins of the religion. I like some of the Catholic principles, but they don't talk about personal relationships with God so much. I've heard the quote before "Catholics don't celebrate their faith, they mourn it" (Dogma). I haven't been able to visit many other churches. I've been to a Methodist church once. I've been to a Lutheran church once or twice. The one thing I've really enjoyed was a daily broadcast on local radio that I listened to while taking college classes.

I think part of my struggle is that I practice things that I don't 100% believe are right. I feel like the sooner I get married, the sooner I can feel whole and moral again. Until then, I feel a little like a criminal. I know that if you don't believe in it completely, that you shouldn't do it. But I really don't want to stop. It seems easier just to keep on keeping on. I like living with *B*. I really do. But then again, it just feels...wrong.

There's so much I'd like to know how to do. How do people keep a schedule while being homemakers? I envy the women I read about who get up in the mornings, keep cleaning schedules, and treasure everything they own. When I had off over the summer, I woke up around 10 am, grabbed some breakfast, watched TV, surfed the net, and puttered around during the day with no real end result. I want to be that woman who has a clean, tidy house, who tries new, exciting, and nutritious meals, and who lives a purposeful life. Now that I'm back at work, my life has purpose out the ears, but for those off times and when I have kids (God willing), I want to be a good homekeeper who works with a purpose. Random think I want to know: how do you get old food oil/grease stains out of clothing?!


  1. What is keeping you from being married? You live as if you are, what is stopping you?

    Everybody had their own personal religious journey to take, pray to G-d and seek to find a real relationship with Him and the religion thing will work itself out.

    As for the philosophical questions, no one can answer those! LOL!

  2. oh, one more thing! ;-)

    Being a homemaker (wife, mother, etc...) is my career. This is something I choose to do (and felt "called" to do) so I choose to do it well. Being a good homemaker isn't something that just happens it is something you do. I started with babysteps, little things here and there and it evolved into something (that I think anyway) that I do well.

  3. We do live as if we were, and *B* comments often that it is like we are. The only thing really stopping us has very little to do with how we feel about each other. We've talked about what kind of wedding we want and everything. But we can't afford anything until we get into the house. We had a choice to make, and this is what we chose. It is my hope to get engaged asap after we move. I've given him permission to use whatever we saved for the house that we don't use toward it.

    Ever since I was young, I've wanted to be a SAHM. Since becoming a teacher, I want to be a homeschooling SAHM. Being a good homemaker is definitely something I'd like to strive for.

  4. Old grease stains: good luck, those things are awful! The only thing I've found that works (sometimes) is Shout Advanced. It's in a blue spray bottle. Wash in hot water.

    I have a hard time keeping myself organized during the day, too. As Red Chief gets older and expects certain things, it gets easier, but it's so easy just to let things degenerate into chaos. I'm still working on this one, for sure!

    As for religious things, like Aimee said, I think things will work out if you really seek God and pray. I believe that God will answer our prayers, and the times that I have prayed with real humility, willing to do what He asked me to do, are the times that I have received the most powerful answers.