It's Been a Long Day

Earlier this afternoon, I was steaming mad. I have not been that angry in a very long time. After a very productive morning (I got my homework done four days early, visited with Kimber, and reread some of The Shack), I called my realtor and my mortgage broker. As it turns out, we were denied our loan. This time, we were denied because we had been denied before, even though I got a substantial raise between the two applications. We could have been saved this problem had certain steps been taken to prevent it. I was cursing a lot, blaming it on my realtor and the previous mortgage broker. I was so angry, that I took it to God.

Just about the whole way to school, I talked/prayed out loud to God in my car. I asked him why I deserved this, and a whole myriad of other complaints. Most of all, I asked him for guidance. So I left it at that and went to class, coming out of it much calmer than when I went in. Coming home, I decided I was really hungry and needed to stop off to get food. I knew I shouldn't have been spending money on fast food, but I was hungry. And food is a need. So I stopped at KFC, and wouldn't you know it, they don't have any chicken. I drive off in search of more places to eat.

Then the religious radio program I listen to came on at 8:00. The sermon - determining the difference between wants and needs. Talk about guidance straight from God! The pastor talked about the line of Our Father "give us this day our daily bread." He talked about what we ask for and what we should ask for, labeling wants as needs, and trusting in God. This gave me great hope, and I've decided I'm going to just go one day at a time right now. I will work on my surroundings as to make them more habitable, and stop worrying about what could be or should be or what I think I deserve. We have food (often free food), clothing that is perfectly good (even if I need to learn to get stains out), and a roof over our head (also for free). Our needs are met. Our wants - privacy, varied food, new clothing - really don't matter so much so long as we can function in praising God and performing our roles in society. With this in mind, I will attempt to take a new approach as I soldier on each day.