Sunday, February 14, 2010
Ups and Downs
Today has been one heck of an emotional roller coaster. I've gone from complete elation (see post below) to some pretty nasty self doubts. Though I don't wish to whine publicly, it really bothers me. While I'm absolutely 100% positive that *B* is the best person out there, I find myself doubting my contributions to the relationship. I feel like I take more than I give though I try very hard to do well by him. Don't get me wrong, it's not his fault I feel this way. It's who I am. But I'm trying very hard to figure how to get over this by either a) doing more than I do already or b) getting over it. I tried cleaning the house spotlessly. That worked for a grand total of one day. But then I forgot to turn his computer off and then forgot to grab his pants from the dryer (one of the few favors he's asked of me). And then I fell asleep on the couch for a trifecta of bad fiancee behavior in one night. On top of this, my physical condition is not the best its ever been given my recent injuries and illness. Why would someone so awesome like him choose to marry someone so flawed and broken as I am?