Rough Night Last Night

Yesterday was to be our FHE for the week. I had planned an activity while I was at school - we were going to research and decide on a CSA for the upcoming year.

I think I had my first panic attack instead.

My throat closed up, I was crying, I was choking, and I didn't want to be touched. I had no real reason for this. Sure, I had some stress yesterday (Praxis II test scheduling, running to grocery store after work, *B* being grumpy) but nothing too unusual. At a certain point, everything collapsed into this downward spiral. I ended up sleeping on the couch all night after *B* went to bed. It was really scary.

As for the Praxis II problem, I need to take tests to be certified. I am seeking a dual certification - math and physics. I took two of what I thought should be four tests two years ago. One of them, I found out, my state wouldn't accept because it wasn't THE correct test. Well, crap. So my certification is quickly approaching, and I decided yesterday to schedule the other three tests. I talked to my advisor, and scheduled the three tests ($290!). Not an hour after I scheduled them, she emailed me and said I only needed TWO of the tests. "My bad" she said. Grrr! Now I need to go through this lengthy refund process that I can only HOPE will give me a full refund on that test.

I'm also a little worried that I might be becoming a hoarder. While not in the A&E special kind of way, I can't seem to go to the grocery store without spending more than I usually do. I'm always getting something "on sale" to stock my pantry. Just because it's on sale doesn't mean that I HAVE to get it - even if it's at a good price. Canned veggies for 40 cents a can, yes I should get them. Corn bread mix at 5/$2 - I could probably live without. After all, I already have TWELVE boxes. Maybe I should schedule grocery trips and just not go any other time. I think I could live with that.